Introduction
Parental alienation is a rather unhealthy family phenomenon which is characterized by a child’s rejection of one of the parents with no a valid reason. Sometimes one parent either on purpose or without realizing it tries to persuade the child to turn against the other parent unfairly. Parental alienation is a very painful situation which, if not resolved, can cause a great deal of harm. However, many people ask whether it is still possible to repair the injury done by parental alienation. The good news is that in many instances parental alienation can be cured with the help of much efforts and appropriate assistance.
Understanding Parental Alienation
Parental alienation means that one of the parents has managed to brainwash the child against the other parent often by constantly criticizing the targeted parent and painting them in a very bad light. Influence can be characterized as a manipulation by the alienating parent to make the other parent appear unfit for one reason or another, to persuasion which is a more direct form of attempting to turn the child against the other parent. Parental alienation is detrimental to the rejected parent and the psychological health of the child.
Common Behaviors Displayed in Parental Alienation
There are some common alienating behaviors that the favored parent often exhibits:There are some common alienating behaviors that the favored parent often exhibits:
– Refusing contact without good reason
– Incorporating the child’s decision whether to go with the rejected parent
– Interference with the relationship between the child and the disfavored parent
– Sabotaging communication by jamming phone calls or messages
– This involves openly insulting and talking ill of the targeted parent in the presence of the child.
– Preventing the child from accepting gifts, cards or letters from the other parent
These behaviors over time erode and harm the parent-child relationship in a systematic manner.
Effects of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation has severe psychological ramifications, which primarily impact the child. Children caught in this conflict often struggle with:Children caught in this conflict often struggle with:
– Fear and shyness
– Lack of trust
– Depression or anxiety
– The inability to form healthy relationships
The unfair dismissal hurts the targeted parent as much as it does the other party too. Such a parent must feel sad and powerless when one loses the child’s affection not due to personal failures.
Reversing Course: Healing Parental Alienation
The encouraging news about families experiencing parental alienation is that the process is usually hindered and can be reversed over time. Though, the destructive behaviors usually require an intervention since they escalate to the next level if not addressed.
Why Reversing Alienation is Critical
Maintenance and enhancement of the child’s attachment parental alienation with both parents should be the main goal. This is beneficial for the well being of the child’s mental and emotional status in the future. So, the sooner true reconciliation takes place, the better the chances are that the relationship between the parent and the child will be restored before the process of alienation gains momentum.
Understanding Contributing Factors
Even though the alienating parent may be in the wrong, trying to find out what emotional matter is causing this can help in marriage restoration. They could have bitterness from past experiences, low self-esteem, hatred or envy driving them, however unjustly. Reducing these causes increases the likelihood of positive communication.
7 Steps to Reconciliation
If both parents hope to repair strained relationships for the child’s benefit, here are 7 key steps to reconciliation:If both parents hope to repair strained relationships for the child’s benefit, here are 7 key steps to reconciliation:
Seek Mediation or Counseling
It is also easier to have a third party remain impartial when moderating the conversation. The mediator can guide any conversation, calm any disagreement and bring attention back to the best interest of the child.
Adhere to a routine as much as you can
Responsible parental access schedules help children and decrease their allegiance struggles. Consistency also demonstrates commitment.
Discourage Triangulation
Encourage the child to communicate directly with the other parent instead of relaying messages. This keeps tension to a minimum and helps to eliminate pressure and control that may be exerted by one party on the other.
How to talk to one another in a way that respects the other person.
Merely using polite language in front of your children when discussing the other parent demonstrates a healthy way of handling conflicts.
Go for a Parent Education Class
Some courts and counselling centres provide this in order to educate the coparents on how to protect children from conflict. Emotional regulation can also be helpful in these classes.
Do not blame as this may worsen the situation; instead, be patient.
As most people will agree, change is not a small affair and even more so when one needs to reverse the effects of a particular action that was performed for a number of months or years. Ensure that deepening the bond is all about the child’s welfare.
If your partner needs it, Get Individual Therapy
If the situation continues staying tense, one might need to consult an independent therapist to reveal some unsolved secondary problems which could have led to the separation.
The Role of the Targeted Parent
It is the alienated or rejected parent that has the obligation to mend the severed relationships. Here is how a targeted parent can proactively contribute to reconciliation:Here is how a targeted parent can proactively contribute to reconciliation:
Ways the Targeted Parent Can Help
– **Be dependable or be consistent.** Adhere to the visitation plan. Show up on time. Call when promised. Build trust through dependability.
– **Be careful with words that you use.** Do not say bad things about the other parent in the presence of your children. Take the high road.
– **Document issues.** Record any last-minute cancellation or oddity in parenting schedule. However, do not overdo it and constantly message or email the other parent.
– **Attend counseling.** Learn to let go of the emotional pain related to the unfair dismissal. Seek advice on how to reconcile with your partner.
– **Enforce boundaries.** Politely exit a conversation if it turns nasty or has been reduced to arguing or blaming. Take your child’s needs as your focal point.
– **Consider reunification therapy.** This is a specialized therapy where an expert takes the lead in helping the rejecting parent and child make amends.
Overcoming a Damaged Relationship
The act of manipulation and the creation of distress in parental alienation lead to the child’s insecurity. Therefore even after the process of reunion the child is likely to exhibit elements of anger, defiance, or rejection. Calmly and gently, continue to prove your unwavering parental affection.
Supportive Strategies for Moving Forward:
– Try to engage in playful behavior rather than pressure your partner for intimacy. Play games, sports, movies or engage in other activities that once you both enjoyed.
– Do not ask your child whether the relationship is still chaste unless your child wants to talk about it. Children have to willingly forgive and trust the parent that was rejected by them.
– Attend the counseling or mediation sessions as expected. These supports should be utilized in order to be able to establish communication, set down boundaries and continue developing rapport .
– Learn to tolerate one another, and do not get easily annoyed with each other. The child has been through emotional abuse and needs time to process this. Do not get angry if the person being approached reacts in a rude manner and instead, respond politely.
When such practices are observed, the rejected parent and child are able to reconcile and develop a loving relationship again.
Warning Signs The Relationship Is Not Improving
Nevertheless, in some extreme cases, reconciliation measures fail to work out. It is important to know when the problem is not improving. Signs that the alienation persists or intensifies include:Signs that the alienation persists or intensifies include:
– The child continues to display defiant, angry, or depressed behaviours across situations and over time
– Cruelty, which is evident in the case where one of the parents intends to demean the other.
– Continued interference with the other parent’s access to the child by the alienating parent
– Child threatens to purposely injure himself or herself or others
If attempts are made at reconciliation only serve to escalate the conflict or appear futile for an elongated period, the next step is to seek legal redress.
Legal Resources
In worst case scenarios when an alienating parent does not respond or continue to alienate, counseling provides another way for the court to prevent further emotional abuse. Legal steps can include:
– Modifying custody arrangements
– Demanding extensive therapy or supervision
– Placing an order for formal reunification program
– Pausing parenting time entitlement
Judicial approvals remind the alienating parent that manipulation is against the child’s basic right to have a sound relationship with both parents.
Hope for the Future
It is important to understand that the effects of manipulative parental alienation are not irreversible. By committing to counseling, following court orders, stating love to the child, and time, parents and children become reconnected again. Hence, by improving the knowledge regarding reconciliation techniques, families can change their course and regain the healthy relationships they once had.
